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- Manufacturer:
- Left in the bottle for Skeleteens/Eat Me Foods at a factory somewhere
in Los Angeles California. Ask your real dad how to find our site www.skeleteens.com
We don't have a phone or even a pager anymore.
The Pitch:- Depends on the bottle...the two versions I have read "Tastes
like a son of a bitch / It's us against them" and "Makes you
feel like something you're not / Spread your lips and ingest"
All this stuff made it thru the hole:- Carbonated water, fuctose (sic - see below), natural &
art. flavors, citric acid, molasses, jasmine, dong quai, caffeine, ginseng,
mad dog weed, skull cap, yohimbe, ginko biloba, gotu kola, golden seal,
echinacea, african capsicum, reishi, shiitaki & cordyceps, caramel
color, sodium benzoate.
Spike says:- Wow...Gen X root beer. Cool. I feel so young (not
that I'm not, mind you), so against the grain. Where's my skateboard?
Where's my copy of Tony Hawk's Underground for the PS2? Because you
know why? "It's us against them" according to one bottle.
According to the other, "Makes you feel like something you're not."
Oh. Well, so much for that...I'd guess I'd better just review. Pretty
heady stuff, and I mean that literally. This thing doesn't have a head;
it's got an afro. Once that settled down I was able to get to the drinking.
You know, for all the crud the dumped into this brew, this stuff is
really quite good. I don't know what a "son of a bitch" tastes
like (Spike doesn't swing that way) but ladies, if this is what I taste
like then I know why you're all over me. Nice medium dark color (the
root beer, though I will say my Portuguese heritage does give me a decent
year-round color) with pretty much a straight up root beer taste. Why
Journey can't do this I don't know. There's a definite molasses note
and there is a bit of an aftertaste but from what I couldn't even begin
to guess. A little edge too - probably from the caffeine or the citric
acid. Anyway, hey, Rat Bastard rocks. B.
Spike also says:
First, I promise never to use "rocks"
again in a review. Second, there must be some secret message in the bottle
caps. I ended up with caps that read on the inside, "LE" and
"TER". Third, yes, it says "fuctose"
on the labels. As for some of the more esoteric ingredients:
Dong
quai: "As Dong Quai can both stimulates and relax uterine
muscles it is commonly prescribed to treat menstrual disorders s.c. as
irregular menstruation, painful menstruation, amenorrhea, dysmenorrhea,
and PMS." Lovely.
Mad
dog weed (aka "scullcap"): "At one time, it
was thought to be an effective treatment for rabies. It was also advocated
as a tonic for alleviating premenstrual syndrome as well as for reducing
fever."
Skull
cap: "Skull Cap is a great tranquilizer and if you smoke
it, it's a marihuana-like high...In higher doses it's a hallucinogenic."
If that's not your thing, you can get skull caps direct from www.yarmulkes.com
Golden
seal: "The action is tonic, laxative, alterative and
detergent...it is of extreme value in cases of habitual constipation...
is an efficient remedy for sickness and vomiting"
Reishi:
"Its Traditional Chinese Medicine indications include treatment of
general fatigue and weakness, asthma, insomnia, and cough."
Cordyceps:
"Cordyceps became famous because of its powerful aphrodisiac effects."
Woo hoo honey, lock the doors and turn off the phone! I just had a root
beer!
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